he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
