I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
