Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
