Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
