honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I think I just sharted jello shots
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
