Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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