dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
