Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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