Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
