Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize