Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Houston, we have a blender
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
