i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
