I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
