I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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