I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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