She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
