Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone came in the potted fern
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
