I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How's work?
Spinning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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