You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You were trust falling into bushes
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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