So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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