yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
