If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
