so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
