So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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