worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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