so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
