Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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