K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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