yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
