i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
