As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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