He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i now understand why vodka
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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