Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize