I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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