I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
