Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
