Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
