I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
