and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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