She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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