y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
