NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
