fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
