Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
