If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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