Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
