I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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