we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
