I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
