dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
