Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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