you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize