When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
