you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
