U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
