dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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