I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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