im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
