i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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