I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
