help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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