It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize