I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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