It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
