38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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