So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Randomize
