were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
